Tall ships with sails full of ocean winds and peg-legged men heave-ho-ing through adventures with a rascal parrot on a shoulder is a romantic tale at best.

At worst, it is a rowboat with a single sailor, skeletal and sunblackened, hollow-eyed and smelling of the rotted fish that lie at ocean's bottom.

If him you see, tremble, for you've met Vampirate.