Earl's teeth were soft and all were riddled with cavities and pulled out long before he reached the age of forty-three. His eyes were crossed when he was born and stuck that way until the age of seven when the opthamologist's magic took effect.

At least on one eye; the other, the stubborn left eye took offense at all the hoopla (since all it wanted was to see its nose) and adopted a wall-eyed stance refusing to have anything to do with its partnering right.