Comments on: 056/100 aka 196/365

By: susan

susan — Sat, 16 Jul 2011 19:58:46 +0000

Marcus, yes, you’ve picked up on one of the things that bothered me here and I was trying to hide from, lazy sot that I am. I too am disenchanted with the “like” form too commonly used for similes and just plain didn’t know how to get rid of it. But now that I’m been called out on it, I’ll fix it. Thank you. You are a real prick (of conscience).

By: Marcus Speh

Marcus Speh — Sat, 16 Jul 2011 18:55:35 +0000

you immediately had me with that voice…wonderful. “The years stacked up like stairs. ” yes. and the knives. question – because it’s something i’ve been thinking about: what’s wrong with “my days are edgy knives” rather than “edgy like knives”? i’ve developed a distaste for “like” as a marker for similes. i don’t know why. i think it’s too much like (!) waving a flag…whaddayathink?

By: susan

susan — Sat, 16 Jul 2011 12:01:02 +0000

Thanks, Steve. I need to tweak the language still a bit, especially at the end, it sort of falls out of rhythm, but I’m happy enough with the rest of it.

By: steve ersinghaus

steve ersinghaus — Sat, 16 Jul 2011 01:51:04 +0000

Solid stuff. I like the complexity rendered in direct prose. And the nice bang at the end.