Word Count:\u00a0 230<\/p>\n

Once a year I drive up here, two hundred miles each way. Every year on your birthday, or if it snows bad, on the anniversary of your death in June. Just because I will always remember. Just because I can never forget.<\/p>\n

You were a beautiful baby, my Marilee Jean. I was just seventeen and alone but I wanted to have you, wanted to keep you, my adorable, warm, rosy-cheeked blonde little girl who was the first thing I could call all my own. Who depended on me, whose first smile was for me, who would have taken your first steps into my proud outstretched arms.<\/p>\n

The trail is overgrown, almost lost in the woods, new trees shade your grave, but I find you. Like your laugh and your chubby pink fingers, it is engraved like a map on my heart. I alone know you\u2019re here and I will always come see you, though no one else but the birds and the scurrying squirrels come to spend some time in your sleep.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ll sing you a lullaby, rock you in memory. My heart breaks. We were all packed and ready to go but you did nothing but cry. I was impatient and scared of the move, scared of your crying. I was so young. Too young to know better.\u00a0 I\u2019m so sorry. I just didn\u2019t know what to do.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Word Count:\u00a0 230 Once a year I drive up here, two hundred miles each way. Every year on your birthday, or if it snows bad, on the anniversary of your death in June. Just because I will always remember. Just … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[18,15],"tags":[25,24],"class_list":["post-1259","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-100-days-2012","category-horror","tag-100-days-2012","tag-horror"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/susangibb.net\/blog3\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1259","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/susangibb.net\/blog3\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/susangibb.net\/blog3\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/susangibb.net\/blog3\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/susangibb.net\/blog3\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1259"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/susangibb.net\/blog3\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1259\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1260,"href":"https:\/\/susangibb.net\/blog3\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1259\/revisions\/1260"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/susangibb.net\/blog3\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1259"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/susangibb.net\/blog3\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1259"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/susangibb.net\/blog3\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1259"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}