Word Count: 340<\/p>\n

There\u2019s a line of cocaine on my dresser, left over from Saturday night. I walk through the bedroom picking up laundry. I always do laundry on Tuesdays.<\/p>\n

Since he left I don\u2019t have to vacuum and dust except maybe when company visits. The last time somebody came by was sometimes around Christmas. Looks like the last time I did laundry might have been around then too. I\u2019m out of underwear and it doesn\u2019t dry quickly when washed in the sink. I think that\u2019s how I got this rash; from damp panties.<\/p>\n

Once upon a time I had a husband and baby. Back when I had my own home. Then he left and I lost the baby to a system that just doesn\u2019t understand how hard it can be. He turned the house over to me and I lost it. But I always found dollars for drugs.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t care what you think. I don\u2019t care that you may look down on me, find me weak-willed and wanting. I\u2019ve been beaten down too badly to even look up to see that smirk on your face. You didn\u2019t expect much more of me, did you? You really didn\u2019t think I could make it on my own? Hold onto my job and pay daycare as well? No, I didn\u2019t do coke in the goods times but you can believe whatever you want.<\/p>\n

It took a few years to give up completely. To quit fighting, take the easy way out. Somewhere I thought I\u2019d won it all back in a card game but I wasn\u2019t holding all the right cards.<\/p>\n

I believe in Jesus. I believe He\u2019s my savior. I believe He\u2019s got some sort of plans He\u2019s not letting me know what they are. I just need to get through this one lifetime. Then I\u2019ll be ready to go.<\/p>\n

Meanwhile, I suck up that snow on the dresser. It\u2019s the last good stuff that I got. Things look better for a little while because I don\u2019t know yet that now everything\u2019s gone.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Word Count: 340 There\u2019s a line of cocaine on my dresser, left over from Saturday night. I walk through the bedroom picking up laundry. I always do laundry on Tuesdays. Since he left I don\u2019t have to vacuum and dust … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[22],"class_list":["post-576","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-psychological-realism","tag-psychological-realism"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/susangibb.net\/blog3\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/576","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/susangibb.net\/blog3\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/susangibb.net\/blog3\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/susangibb.net\/blog3\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/susangibb.net\/blog3\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=576"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/susangibb.net\/blog3\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/576\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":941,"href":"https:\/\/susangibb.net\/blog3\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/576\/revisions\/941"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/susangibb.net\/blog3\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=576"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/susangibb.net\/blog3\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=576"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/susangibb.net\/blog3\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=576"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}