Wow! Insight or Acceptance? In thinking of my quest to find my voice, a moment of inspiration—or finally facing up to something I have always known.
I am truly of the mind to believe that Susan can only be found in her writing, and the one you see in front of you is a personality created for her purpose.
In reflecting back upon my life, I see myself and my two sisters as formal, cautious, polite, uptight, and often fearful. This is regardless of a normal, loving middle class family life. Somewhere along the path I had been branded “different” which is enjoyable, both to me and my family because it is an outgoing, sarcastically funny entity that keeps them on edge, even now. With any formal get-together they can’t help but hold a tiny little fear that I will indeed show up in my cowboy boots and feathered vest. It was a phase I went through once when I arrived Thanksgiving Day in this attire, and they just shook their heads and maybe said, “Well, that’s Susan…” but secretly were grateful for the little break in their routine. It started in my twenties, this conscious changing of an image that seemed stiff and unable to comprehend the world around me. But no matter how well I’ve honed my act, I am still here in my writing. And sadly, still held apart from and uncomprehending life. A sort of Dr. Manhattan without blue-skinned intelligence and power.
The Lost Children: A Charity Anthology