WRITING: Stepping up to a New Plateau

Levels of Learning; obvious, no? But reading and writing are open to learning forever and yet we were quite capable of both by age six or seven.

The newness in the style of writing I am currently producing is just starting to feel good. Easier and more natural, at least here in Spinning. But problems occur when I sit down to story-length pieces. Last night was the first time I felt able to incorporate it into one of the stories I am working on now. It seemed worlds apart from the feeling, the wording, the VOICE, and the “tightness”* in the language. I read and reread the four pages I’d written just a few weeks ago, and have edited a bit almost daily, adding little, just tweaking and picking at words. Then I read and reread some postings of late, and wondered how (in the hell) I could make the transition. I may have finally gotten the idea, captured the voice and rewrote. Close, but not quite, but still readable as short story not poetry–my, but they are touching and coming together in places.

For example, a post here that brought interest:

“A young eagle overhead, slow-circling proudly with his selection gripped firmly in his talons. Swirling, catching sunlight on his wings, he flies to find a table as I watch. Oh my, a bird perhaps, or maybe just a mouse (secretly, I hope it is a vole). Fresh fish from the hatchery?

I hope he doesn’t drop it on my head.”

Had I written this into a story, it might have shown up as this:

“I spied a young eagle overhead, circling slowly, proudly gripping his selection firmly in his talons. He swirled, catching the sunlight on his wings, seeking a table to sit at his breakfast. He held a bird perhaps in his grip, or maybe just a mouse. Could it be fresh fish from the hatchery?

I hoped he wouldn’t drop it on my head.”

Minor differences, but one is “tighter”* I guess.

In the short story, I simply deleted “She felt Disconnected, waiting for something to move her, jar her or comfort, bring her back to her world.” It set a whole new tone to the scene.

I’m learning. I’m trying. I’ll get there yet.

*Professor E’s description, and I believe that of Owen’s as well.