I have lost much dear to me this year, but am also grateful for the almost-tragedies that weren’t. A dear friend of ours is going in for bypass surgery bright and early Monday morning, and this I am pre-counting as a blessing that he’s having it done before it went too far. He needs us now, he lost his wife, our dear friend, just three months ago.
What has me thinking in this somber vein again is the cutting of a tree, an ash that stood proudly to a height of 70 feet or more. It graced the front of my next door neighbor’s yard, and shaded me daily in my shop. It looks so barren there without it, and I deeply feel its loss. And then I think, of other things this neighbor’s home has lost in fifteen years that I’d cared deeply for and cried along with her. Two cats that oversaw the vole population; two labrador retrievers that I played with and “aunted” when their family took vacations; a horse named Bandit that we fed with treats of cabbage leaves and carrots from our garden; a good and honest man.
Life is losing things and people along the way. It’s also gaining all of them and more. Without the memories that are so precious and with luck, cannot be lost at all, it would not be worth the price.
Sometimes the losses seem to tumble in upon themselves, and we get lost somewhere in the heap. Of course, then there are those other times, when our abundances leave no room for remembering our losses.
I remember once feeling deeply the loss of a treasured and lovely tree, and even today, as I pass this familiar place, I see the shadows of it harbored in my mind’s eye. Somewhere deep within my heart, it continues to provide a dappled shade that protects me from the harsh brightness of the sun. Even though I know the sun will warm my skin, I preferred the coolness of the shade. So I keep it safely in my memory, even as the bright light is all around me.
It is the season to embrace loss as the days grow shorter and woodsmoke begins to tinge the evening air. May you be comforted by the blazing leaves and remember in your heart all that has been lost will one day return.
My last comment sounds like a bad Hallmark card. Excuse the excess. The sentiment is there.