I’ve just spent a bit of time reading some of my weblog from its initiation two years ago, scanning here and there to watch the progress towards some high inspired times and the prolificality (remember that?) with which I wrote about everything and anything I looked at.
Nowadays, the morning shower is for hygiene, the backyard is just there, and the dark garage nights hold no secret revelations to be discovered. I have not run naked from the shower, nor smashed a cigarette out in a spray of sparks to race to a computer to capture a thought in too long a time.
I have started stories, had wisps of conceptual narrative, learned to make plots and plans, yet I cannot carry through a thought beyond that opening paragraph. This writer’s block, however, is not a mysterious malady at all, but a named burden of obsession over some personal realities that affect livelihood and family relationships destroyed that just drag on forever to cloud any hope of free thinking.
The silver lining (ah yes, I found the entries on the "Silver Lining Club" that were sarcastic pokes at my natural pessimism) here is that I am learning new things about human nature that can find their way into future story to add depth. Trial and tribulation must be endured, but recycled (as a frugal and practical device, also a natural trait) can turn to be valuable lessons of life and rich resources for writing.
I hope.
The Lost Children: A Charity Anthology
I understand the nagging sadness and depression over circumstances that can cloud any impulse to be creative. But you have to remember that despite everything going on around you falling to pieces or not, you hold your true, authentic self deep inside and nothing can destroy that.
My true self, Loretta, is changing as I try to understand what is going on around me. Lotsa illusions destroyed, delusions of human nature and family and friends collapsing. But if I can accept what is real, you’re right, the core self is the better and stronger for it. Thanks, Lady.
I completely understand where you are coming from, Susan. I think part of it has to do with depression, which seems to be a common malady for writers. Here are some articles of interest:
http://www.speculations.com/depression.htm
http://hollylisle.com/fm/Articles/livetowrite.html
http://maudnewton.com/blog/?p=2153
I apologize in advance about the “advice” portion of the articles. However, I find it interesting that we are not alone. Another topic I continue to delve into is writing and fear. For me, I think other excuses find their way to block my writing, but the real reason I don’t write is fear (of success? of failure? I have yet to discover).
Thank you, Nienke; I’m about to check out those suggested articles. I think you’re right also about the fear excuse. Writing is a very personal project and with the submission process and the hope of someone liking what we’ve written, it can’t help but affect how and what and when we’ll offer our souls up for approval.