CURRENT AFFAIRS: State of the Union

Something becomes fodder for jokes when it both appeals to and appalls common sense.  The strangest part is that it then becomes accepted fact, and a sad joke at that:

American Business at its best…

Toyota, a Japanese company, and GM, an American company, decided to have a canoe race on the Missouri River.  Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race.  On the big day, the Japanese won by a mile.

Afterward, the American team became very discouraged and morally depressed. The American management decided the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found. A Management Team made up of senior management was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate action.

Their conclusion was the Japanese had eight people rowing and one person steering, while the American team had eight people steering and one person rowing. So American management hired a consulting company and paid them an incredible amount of money.

After six months of hard work, they advised that too many people were steering the boat, while not enough people were rowing.  So the American Team acted:

To prevent losing to the Japanese again next year, the rowing team’s management structure was totally reorganized to four steering supervisors, three area steering superintendents and 1 assistant superintendent steering manager.

They also implemented a new performance system that would give the 1 person rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder. It was called the "Rowing Team Quality First Program," with meetings, dinners and free pens for the rower. Even new paddles and medical benefit incentives were promised for a winner. "We must give the rower the empowerment and enrichments through this quality program."

The next year the Japanese won by two miles. Humiliated, the American management laid off the rower for poor performance, halted development of a new canoe, sold the paddles and canceled all capital investments for new equipment. 

The money saved was distributed to the senior executives in appreciation for a job well done.

(Credit given to whoever came up with this, and while it flies across this great land from work station to work station, it will, I am sure, never reach those burnished desks where it will not even be understood.)