Haven’t played with Flash8 in a week; feeling weary and worn out and useless. Feeling I’m not up to this, feeling who am I kidding? Until I have the playtime for myself–and that means chores all done–don’t feel I should take this seriously. Feel I won’t be taken seriously any way.
Another five years of false bravado lays in dust around my feet. I shake it from my shoes and look around for some direction. Writing’s just too near the beginning for a finish for the time left can’t be wasted any more. It was never on my list of things to do: Be Ineffective. Self-sabotage my tool of trade.
Can’t do this anymore. Can’t do this anymore again.
The Lost Children: A Charity Anthology
I’ve been working on a Half-Life 2 mod that got sidetracked. Same story, same emotional reaction. When you’re working in an experimental medium, you’ve got to permit yourself space to make mistakes — and excuse your forays into dead ends. That’s part of exploration. It’s frustrating, but it’s not a waste of time.
Well, my little round of self-pity worked and I’ve taken up the torch again. Sometimes I suppose we just need some space. Been watching on your weblog what you’ve been doing with Half Life 2 and it looks fascinating. But it’s got to be enjoyable as well, and eventually we get back on track. Thanks!