REALITY?: Empowerment

Right now I’m in the midst of a discussion with a good friend about the power of positive thinking.  I’m naturally taking the negative position.

In my personal experience, for me, negativity has gotten me a lot further in life–even in its mere acceptance policy and thus reduction of stress and general well-being.  Whenever I’ve been positive or confident about something, it’s fallen through regardless of attitude and frankly, the disappointment is a lot harder to overcome than when I’ve pretty much written something off as unlikely.  And too, when something has worked out unexpectedly, the delight is that much fuller. 

Now I’m not talking about appearance here; I believe without a doubt that presenting a positive and confident image will help tremendously–and for no less reason than the fact that most people believe in the power of positive thinking themselves so take it for granted that when they see someone present with such an air, that they are indeed successful go-getters and doers.  (A good percentage of these turn out, unfortunately, to merely be successful b.s.ers.)

While I understand that attitude is the first step, I’ve always found that effort is what makes for success and effort is motivationally minded.  For example, I personally try a lot harder when I am worried about failure.  I’m more cautious and focused and anxious to overcome my own doubts, therefore putting more into what I’m attempting than if I had approached a task with any sureness of success or false expectations.  I’ve gotten high academic grades only because I was so worried that I’d not do well.  Honest.

Just in the last few months I’ve found that the things I was most sure of and put a good amount of both know-how and a dash of chutzpah into, where I had reason to be most confident in my own abilities and open to the very real possibility of being successful in my endeavors, have fallen flat through with little ceremony.  And I fell a lot harder with the reality.

If the effort is entire, then any preconceptions are not going to change the outcome.  If I walk up to a locked door believing it will give way, I’ll likely get a smashed nose whereas if I suspect it may be locked, I’ll either find my suspicion confirmed or be pleasantly surprised if it’s not.

While I’m obviously not a wild success in life, the concept works for me–failure to thrive is due to lack of ambition rather than enthusiasm.  And I think that the key here is that what you believe works, will work.  That’s the important part, and if positivity does it for you, then go for it.