Boy, I read a short story today that just totally freaked me out it was so good. The concept, the pace, the skill with magical realism, the language, everything about it was so good that I cannot help but be…dis-inspired to write.
Sometimes great writing gets you moving and sometimes it stops you dead in your tracks as the realization of an unachievable goal. Today I feel that all I’ve done up til now is worthless and the time would be better spent decorating cupcakes and eating them all in a day.
The Lost Children: A Charity Anthology
Just stopped in to shout hullo. But now, of course, i’m wondering about that short story, because these past few days seemed filled with uncommonly good short stories. Do all writers have doubts about their works? I’ve known a few successful and/or published authors, and that has been the case for each of them.
It’s strange Anne, but that story was phenomenally good (link: http://tinyurl.com/y92y6dc ) that yes, it made me feel like a complete failure as a writer. But then this morning I read a few that were highly recommended and my feeling was like, man, why do so many writers think that nasty, gross events, body functions and foul language are wonderfully creative edgy contemporary narrative?
I’m kind of giving up because I feel I just don’t have a handle on what’s cool and what’s tired.
I want to bend your ear, Anne, with some comforting thoughts concerning your present state of mind. That feeling you call dis-inspired, is not that at all. It is simply a niggling and somewhat annoying feeling that all would-be writers have. A bit uncomfortable but that discomfort is multiplied when you read a most excellent bit of prose.
Writers ‘strive’ and it is ‘the strive’ that feels dis-inspiring as anything could possibly feel when you read another’s work that has the perfect plot and rhythm and convinces the reader it flowed onto the paper without ‘striving’. But all writers, good or bad, strive and it is ‘the strive’ that is so damn uncomfortable but at the same time so necessary and worthwhile.
interestingly, i don’t have that feeling (much), that i’m a lowly sort of scribe because i read something that’s fantastic. it rather tells me “that’s what i want to do”, and perhaps i haven’t been writing long enough in a focused fashion to know the limits of my imagination or of my ability, perhaps that’s the experience, which will make me confront that inner demon y’all describe? i’m still building skill and i cannot see an end of that road, so why despair? getting tired i understand, and getting fed up if few/nobody see what i’m writing is worth reading, i understand as well. i usually respond to these feelings by trying to ignore the outside world and concentrating on my writing (not easy as i am a terrible extrovert and a sucker for attention).
having said that, one more confession and one more thought: ms flawnt is an extraordinary companion in that she (using her magic wand) manages to disperse any doubts that i might have in my ability as a writer. it’s a blessing to have a partner/friend/community like that. i can imagine (never had it) that a real life community of writers might provide both high doses of self-doubt and support. (ms flawnt – an ex-editor – says male writers often think the sun shines out of every word they write…)
the thought: i like what anne says “i just don’t have a handle on what’s cool and what’s tired”. same here. i’m pretty put off by a lot of the extremely well written prose out there though, including the big and famous (like t c boyle, martin amis etc) because it’s just so daym heartless and involved only with the self and its condition. i am at the other end of the continuum – fighting a natural inclination to sentimentalism and prayer. my own cross to bear, i suppose.
thanks for listening!
Obviously, I bounced back after having my little pity party though two acceptances of short pieces since I posted this helped boost my spirits enormously.
good for you, susan! it is a good feeling, i know it (a little). still figuring this out. a lot of people make enourmous efforts to publish and many editors out there do a marvelous job. it’s a good time to be a writer in! no pity, please!