WRITING: Conflict

I read knowledge to learn, non-fiction to seek truth, and fiction to live within a different world.

I write non-fiction truthfully, have no great knowledge to impart, and fiction to live within a different world.  All readers of fiction want some depth of character, a plot, a revelation or resolution.  All fiction must have some conflict.  And this is where I fail.

One would think that with experience comes more ideas, more sense of what human nature can dish out and by the same strength, absorb. And yes, unless we blind ourselves to our realities, we may write about the wonders and horrors that we’ve put into our pasts, add or leave out a few details, but draw upon the memories or impressions to create great fiction.  Except for me.  Unless I’m off in outer space with a story, my character is carefully framed to not be any part of me–or at least, as much as I can consciously separate them.  Frankly, my reality has been much more adventurous and okay, darker, than any of my protagonists.  Which leaves me with a weak character and story. 

I’m just thinking out loud here–I’ve learned, I suppose, to write my thoughts out in a weblog though that isn’t perhaps wise.  But this may tie in with my writerly/authorly situation, and the reason I try so hard to not put myself into a story is the very problem:  I still feel I am the story, own it, am unwilling to give it away because I fear it is still me.  If I can truly get over that concept, maybe it will enable me to feel free to draw from experience and still allow the experience to be one that belongs to the character, and of course, the reader. 

I’m not sure I’m making any sense here, but another example of my thinking on this is that in reading some of the short blurbs by the authors included in some of the short story lit journals, I actually felt that they cheated if their story was based closely upon their background or events they experienced.  It’s why I hate ceramics versus clay.  But in writing, if the writer has had the experience and chooses to write about it, can present it and embellish or whatever and then–most importantly–let go of it as his or her own, it is not only well within their right, but smart because the feeling is there, the understanding of the moment and the story.

While I’m not a scarlet woman exactly, perhaps I should consider sharing with my characters a bit more of what I’ve learned personally.  It will not change my past, nor will it change my future.  It will only have the possibility of giving my characters some depth, something or someone to be challenged by and rise above.  As have I.