I’ve been doing a lot of praying this past week, and in fact, reverted back to my Catholic base as I often do when things get tight. Somehow it just makes sense to use the more accepted mode of talking with God when something very important is at stake. My usual straight-talk methods may in truth offend Him, and you don’t want to alienate when it’s someone else’s health and happiness you’re seeking.
When under extreme and immediate stress, I may ramble off The Lord’s Prayer in Polish. This was learned phonetically in early childhood, along with Hail Mary, The Apostles Creed, and a few others. I don’t understand fully each word as I speak it, but it still easily rolls off my tongue and it just sounds quick and urgent, somewhat akin to saying the rosary as every Sunday Mass was spent when Latin still was spoken. The English versions somewhere along the line slowed down for me, as I took the time to understand the words and found them not quite real, not quite meaningful when used for intercession.
Forgive me, but I find myself in conflict. I suddenly freeze at the phrase, “Thy will be done.” I feel as if within my praying, I instead am saying, “Well, this is what I need, please, but do whatever You want,” or “C’mon, think about it, change Your mind and make THIS what You want.” It seems to be the Christian equivalent of, “Whatever…”
Some of the other words don’t seem right, either:
“Give us this day, our daily bread,” either taken literally or symbolically is a plea for all mankind, and yet life’s not fair that way.
“Lead us not into temptation,” – why would He? And if it’s a manner of testing us, what right do we have to ask Him not to do so?
I do not mean to be sacrilegious, and I should not question what is written by those so learned and holy, taught to us by Jesus and written in the bible (Luke 11, 2-4, Matthew 6, 9-15). I just feel as if I’m using words without thinking of their meaning, but with selfish intent in using something sacred. But if there is a God, I hope He understands that words from the heart are not as glib nor polished, but are true and truly meant.
References are used and given just as direction, and are not indepth scholarly arguments:
The Prayer Jesus Taught Us
by Victor Hoagland, C.P.
based on the New Catholic Catechism 2759-2865
The Lord’s Prayer
New Advent Catholic Encyclopedia
The Lost Children: A Charity Anthology
I’ll be teaching a first-grade class for a vacation bible school next month, and the theme will be the Our Father. Your blog got me thinking.
I believe in questioning authority, even His authority. I tend to revert back to my Catholic remnants in stressful times, too, and often question whether this sort of on-again, off-again behavior is offensive, but in my gut I believe God expects each of us to navigate in whatever way works best for us, including running hot and cold on occasion. Good for you for wanting the words to MEAN something, and I also agree with the comfort of recitation in another language. Somehow the familiar rhythm and weight of the words in your heart seems to speak of an internally projected need in ways much better than more common words can convey.
Interesting post, and thanks for sharing the references.
When we’re in foxholes, we pray. There’s a closeness to that. Stay close.
Yeah, we kind of do that without thinking…I mean, saying the urgent prayer in the language it was learned in. I mumble the Lord’s Prayer out in Sesotho.
From when I was quite young, I wondered, “Why Father? Does God have gender?
“In the language it was first learned in,” I meant to say.
It all does seem to come back to understanding meaning, even when, as pointed out, we “use” words for a meaning never meant.
I have no problem accepting a God as male; I’m sure I’ve been one myself in prior life. Male and female rule the world together, two halves that only once connected can create and live. Gender is not one above the other, but are necessary to each other, in human beings, in all species of life, in plants and trees and seeds of living things.
And even God, born again of woman, has made us capable of creating Him.