REALITY? & BLOGGING: Written Therapy

Inspired by Joe’s post at The Word Foundry, I am trying to put my thoughts together to both explain where Spinning has been in the last few weeks, and where it will be heading soon, I hope. Joe, whom I’ve only met through blogging, is one of the nicest guys I’ve known. And there are many others who have just proven to me that there still are warm, sensitive men out there.

Just as an opening, despite the obvious things going on with friends and family, that is merely what I’ve focused on here, and that is for many reasons. Honesty is one of them, another is that as a writer, what is going on seems so very much more important than a fictional short story about people who only live in my head. And there’s the complication of a six-month long depression that makes everything seem more traumatic, overwhelming, and meaningful than it is. I usually enjoy a good depression for the related bonus of its drama-lending to writing. But this one is just taking a little too long to let go. I need to get my ass in gear and get things done so that I can do the things I want to do, and take care of what I need to do.

Spinning has indeed been an outlet for creative energy, but is as much for emotional release as well. Now I’m the first to admit that I’ve dropped many links to blogs that just whine and complain, so I really don’t blame anyone who’s gotten fed up with my own dark side lately. But there are so many good people out here that are so understanding and supportive that it’s gotten many bloggers through some bad times. All of the comments that have been added in the past few weeks have been answered personally by e-mail. They deserved more response, I felt, than a pat thank-you here. . A couple heartfelt words is all it takes, but not everyone cares to take the time, and many more simply don’t know what to say. I understand. I’m awed and inspired by those who have, however, and don’t know if there’s any way to classify them as anything but good folk. The men in particular have shown a sensitivity that surprised me, and maybe it’s because they’re writers as well that they weren’t afraid to show it. The women haven’t surprised me, because I’ve always been able to feel their strength and warmth in their own writings. I’ve received more nice comments from Googlers than I’ve ever received any rude spam.

It’s no doubt easier to be open and unguarded with people you don’t know or have to face sometimes. I’ve seen more honesty and caring here on Spinning than I have among people I am acquainted with. Right now, I’m on the edge of tears sometimes and there are just a few folks that I can be with and let the guard down. In my shop, I need to be professional. With my husband, family and friends, I need to be strong. With many others, I just need to function. And with one or two, maybe I can laugh, or even cry.

This may not answer Joe’s question, and it deserves more consideration, I think, as reflects the creative needs, frustrations, and answers. It’s not the same for all, but I believe now that quite a few of us understand it.