Just realized that my mind is filled with borders today.
1. The obvious 2 pixel black borders I need separating the columns, but obviously here –>
2. The border between life and death. On Friday night I fell asleep on the couch, and sometime early Saturday morning around three am I awoke with a start, from a feeling of having been pushed forcefully against my chest, like a shove. When I saw my Dad yesterday, he explained that his jaw was making noise because a couple of nights previous he had awakened in the early morning hours by some force that made him sit bolt upright and gave him the impression that his teeth had flown out of his mouth.
I believe in an afterlife, but not one that includes flames or clouds, nor return visits without a physical body to relive in. Just when you think you have some sort of theory, something happens that causes doubt. However, what it has done is prove to me that there IS something more to it than this; something that creates something to cause these doubts.
3. Since applying a nicotine patch, the creative flows have increased, especially at night in dreams. I have upon occasion related some of those dreams here in Spinning, and I don’t claim to understand or interpret the process, nor do I have time for in-depth research. But just a quickie: Sexually approached by a man whose twin wives agreed that it was okay by them. Looking back over the past few days and what I have read, seen, or thought about, I can tie this one in to a certain consciousness. (Talk about border crossing!)
4. I have been consumed with guilt over lost time and waste of focus in the past, and have steadily been making progress towards going beyond the borders I have always tested before (annoying habit, I know, but it was fun). It seems that I have come to recognize the borders long ago, and am really, really anxious to go beyond them. This I’m sure, is just a product of facing the loss of certain loved ones, and the natural human reaction of selfishly applying it to one’s own mortality.
That’s it for now.
The Lost Children: A Charity Anthology
Sleep paralysis is fairly commonly experienced, and symptoms tend to manifest themselves by leaving the subject unable to move for a few brief moments, and often they may feel an over-whelming sense that someone is present and/or sitting on their chest. At least that’s how the sensation of pressure on the chest was originally interpreted. It’s often described as a bit terrifying to people who don’t know what the hell is going on.
Sleep paralysis and the associated night terror w/ physical manifestation don’t necessarily have to go together.
For a long time people thought there were caused by an incubus or some other type of witch-craft or demon visiting them in the night. This is the sort of thing people ended up getting burned for. That, and bad wheat (another story entirely.)
When I quit smoking I used the patch as well – I had very vivid dreams and nightmares – it may the patch causing you these night time troubles. Also just quitting smoking changes your sleep patterns. All worth it – keep up the good work. It has been 7.5 years for me now and I still think it is the best thing I have ever done. Keep me posted on your progress.
PS – Love the new look for Spinning.
500 Words
Earlier today, I saw that someone on the Craft of Writing list asked about writing while working and handling other elements in one’s life — How many of you write, but also have other jobs, be they paid or not?…