CURRENT AFFAIRS: Easter

Thank God it’s taking longer for Jesus Christ to rouse Himself this year; Easter’s not until April 11th. Last year it was sometime in March, and since I’m the one who holds the family dinner—for which all appear, some I’m not even sure are related, but they’re starting to look familiar by now, because the girls have all tried making pierogi and decided, well, frankly, “screw that.” But since they all love them, and since it’s tradition, I will be the one making them until the day I die. Pierogi are a lot of work to make, and if I could only think of it and get the chance to make them in batches at a time any time now, and freeze them then I’d be okay, but I don’t. Procrastination is a sin—especially during Lent, I think. And if I do happen to die making them, blasphemous bitch that I be, please Dear Lord, don’t raise me up along with You anytime around the following Easter.