Word Count: 394
I didn’t notice that my right foot was shrinking until my shoe fell off when I got out of the car. Once I realized that something was going on, I became more aware of it. Like when you slap at a mosquito and suddenly you’re itchy all over.
I checked my left foot because it seemed more likely that my left foot had swollen rather than my right foot shrinking. It just made more sense. The left was definitely bigger than the right if you looked closely. I soaked it in epsom salt solution and put on some Absorbine Junior though it didn’t look puffy and wasn’t sore. The next day it became obvious that instead, my right foot was shrinking.
Every day I looked and every day I thought I could see some discernible difference in the size of my feet. Not just shorter, but smaller all over. I stuffed the toe of the shoe with tissue. Put in an innersole. Then two tissues and double innersole. Then I had to break down and go to a podiatrist.
“No, no pain,” I said. “It doesn’t feel different at all except that it’s getting smaller every day.”
“That’s impossible,” he said.
“Well, look at it.”
“It’s not much smaller than the other one,” he insisted.
“It is!”
“It’s probably always been that way and you just never noticed.”
“No it hasn’t,” I said, “I think I would’ve noticed before now that my shoes don’t fit.”
“Maybe it’s the shoes,” he said. “Are they made in the U.S.A.?”
I went through three podiatrists with similar scenarios. I was up to five tissues and four innersoles in my right shoe. I bought two pairs of shoes in different sizes and threw the too-large right shoe and too-small left shoe away.
I didn’t notice I was listing until I realized it was raining into my left ear as I hop-skipped through the rain across the parking lot one evening after work.
And it just went on and on from there. A year later, I’ve shriveled to the height of a cat. Both sides are now about evenly gone and my head is the size of an apple. I’ve lost my job and have PeaPod deliver my groceries. Thank God for the internet or I’d really be lost because I can’t even reach the doorknob.
