100 DAYS PROJECT: #51

July 11th, 2009 by susan


Snakes and Snails (Temporarily Unavailable)

51snakesandsnailsFrom Steve’s story I pulled dialogue, but in this case, between characters who listen to each other (I did a talk-around in #49 Earth to Moon). From Mark Bernstein I attempted to follow his suggestion in creating different stories of the characters that did not enter the conversation. Mark also influenced my decision to end the story as I did, following a couple tweets today.

The map tells an obvious story of structure, though it’s also obvious that my sense of fairness and balance affects my writing in hypertext map view. I wonder if I’d be quite this military about it if I worked in outline, or tree view. The linking does not look elaborate, but I think it accomplishes what I want it to do to serve the story best.

4 Responses to “100 DAYS PROJECT: #51”

  1. mary ellen Says:

    whoops, you did a #51. you know what that means, don’t you, Ms. Gibb.

  2. susan Says:

    Yeah, and I killed a kid too, all in the name of art.

  3. mary ellen Says:

    Okay, post-reading: this one is stunning. The tone, momentum, topics, and characterization are all tremendous. No smoke, these boys are dead on for a YA story, and so is the daring, bravado, stupidity and compulsion. The prudish side of me wonders about the homoeroticism that enters in the side paths, but I don’t honestly know how much of this lit is available. It’s a story some kids really need access to. How much of it is vehicle, and how much is embedded in the characters? If this is the story that needs to be told, peace. If you’re looking for commercial viability, maybe change this roadblock to something more universal? (Poverty, self-esteem issues…) This would make an awesome linear narrative, with the asides becoming chapter filling.

  4. susan Says:

    Thank you! The two came alive for me in the dialogue and that was written straight through to the last writing space–though I knew by then what was going to happen. The side trails for each boy was almost like the get-together after a funeral, where people try to recall just so they’ll understand what happened. Tim was what he was and I found it interesting that each boy knew about the other’s situations but never talked about it.

    Wasn’t trying to do YA, (since I’m counting on you for that) but wondered as this story was going down, if it was an appropriate piece. I’m thinking now that Tim’s homosexuality would be an okay thing since kids tease each other at a much earlier age than this without completely understanding all the implications of it. I don’t know; there are likely guidelines set up somewhere.